I was listening to NPR on my way home from the dentist today and it turned out to be one of those shows I carried into my house when I got home.

The show was about mattering.

And how mattering is a meta-need—one that is above the other needs like significance, purpose, or belonging.

It turns out we need to feel valued and to feel like we are adding value.

This isn’t just a nice, woo-woo part of life, supported by affirmations.

This is a nitty-gritty, down to our very core, need.

Without it, we risk turning against ourselves or against others.

I know what mattering means.

As a mom, a teacher, a coach, I’ve been there for quite a lot of people, all told.

And I like it, mattering.

I think of it a little bit like my beautiful collie, Fiona.

Fiona just needs to say hello to people. She needs to make friends.

I’ve never had a dog like this. When we are walking, wherever we are walking, she will spot someone and just stop until they have caught up with us. No amount of leash-tugging or giving of “heel” commands will budge her.

Until the person catches up with us. Whereupon she just sits there and looks extraordinarily pretty and very, very happy to see them. As if they were her very best friend—she just hadn’t met them yet.

Some people don’t respond to her—they go on their grumpy, preoccupied way. Or they avoid her.

But most people just get a big, old, happy grin on their face.

Because to them, just at that moment, they mattered a whole lot to a beautiful, excessively friendly dog.

Fiona matters to people because they matter, deeply, to her.

That is the story she tells them when she sees them a block away and waits for them.

You matter enough for me to sit here and inconvenience my (mostly beloved) owner. I’m going to give you a big, old hello, from over here, where you can ignore me if you want. But if you look at my lovely smiling snout, my wagging tail, and my exquisite desire to say hello to you, you will get a treat. And then I will get one too. But, anyway, I already got one, because I sat here and said you matter to me.

Story is one way we express mattering. When we take the time to find, shape, and tell our stories, we are saying we matter and we are aiming to create value for someone else.

And so that is my story today. It matters to me that you read it. I appreciate your caring about my stories, about story itself. I appreciate your caring to stop for a minute in the rush of the day, of the news, of the attention-grabbing distractions—to read.

I hope you feel like you matter today. And I hope you feel like you gave value. I’d love to hear your story, if you’d care to share.

And if you meet Fiona one day, you will see how much you matter to her.

That’s her story and, after five years of waiting for strangers with her, I can tell you she’s sticking to it.

Born and raised in Charlottesville, Va., Ginger Moran grew up with books all around her. Now a writer and book mentor, her area of expertise is writing. She has a BA and MA in English from the University of Virginia and a PhD in Literature and Creative Writing from the University of Houston. She taught at Fisk University and the University of Virginia. She has published articles, stories, and essays in national publications and won awards for her writing. She has published three books, The Algebra of Snow, The Body of Summer, and American Queen. She has certifications in Martha Beck Wayfinder Coaching, Kaizen Muse Creativity Coaching, and Modern Elder Academy Transitions Coaching. She lives in Maryland with her two collies. Find more of her work at https://gingermoran.com/.