What’s that? I ask
pointing at the x-ray.
Oh, that’s your heart.
Or a tumor. I should check
with the radiologist.
Don’t bother. It’s both.
My heart is black.
Blacker than any organ
medical history records.
Or so I was told
as a teenager by a friend
of a friend who was sick
of watching me hurt her friend.
I had every excuse in the book:
I loved her too much,
I loved someone else,
I wasn’t in love enough.
In the end, I hurt everyone
involved and failed
to learn a thing.
And now
I see the results
in black and white
except reversed: what is
darkest and hardest to see
appears white, like an angel
growing inside the body
of a drowned man.
Or the latest victim
of a murderer’s
own worst traits.


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